Why Your Twenties are the Worst

When your 14, life feels so very difficult. You find yourself wishing away the years, yearning for the time you're 21. When you're a grown up. You can do whatever you want. No one tells you what to do - no nagging, no bed time, no one telling you what to eat and when. You'll have your own money that you can spend on whatever you want. Life goals.

 Homework is the worst and it just feels like you're always being examined, and assessed and tested. There's so much pressure - you've got your GCSEs coming up. If you don't do well in them, how will you do your A Levels? You need A Levels to get to Uni, so you can't bugger them up. And without a degree how will you get an amazing job? Life is so stressful. Life will be so much easier when you're an adult.

Now you're 22. And you were so right. Kind of. But it's kind of worse...

You're a grown up - no one tells you what to do. You have to work out bills, council tax, car insurance, everything. On your own. I used to resent my mam telling me what to do, but I'm constantly ringing her asking for help and advice. Teachers nagging you and bossing you around were the bane of your life. But who tells you what to do now? What do you do now?

At 22 you'll have loads of money. To buy whatever you want. 

Well, that's partially true. You probably have some money, much more than you had when you were 14 but you can't spend all your money in Topshop or Superdrug anymore. The vast majority goes on bills. And rent. Paying back student loans and paying  tax. And paying for yet another new tyre on my car 'cause apparently I can't stop driving over nails. What fucker leaves nails in the middle of the road anyway?!

On a similar note - a lot of fabulous twenty-somethings don't actually have that much money, because we can't get jobs. Or if we have one, it's a bunch of balls. Nothing to do with your degree. (Read about my job hunting woes here). When do we get the job of our dreams? When do we give up and settle for something to pay the bills? Why do we have to make such huge decisions?

Another thing. Read: another annoying, soul-destroying truth. I'm at the age when it's actually okay, acceptable and kind of expected to get engaged and have children. People actually brazenly ask when they'll be hearing church bells. Can you mind your own fucking business pls? I'm trying to find a job so I can stop watching Come Dine With Me in my pyjamas all day, marriage is at the bottom of my list of priorities. But, of course, it's another thing to be worried about as your friends start showing off engagement rings and yet-another girl from school is having a baby. It's my turn soon. Shit. 

I single out the twenties over the thirties for several reasons. a) I'm not in my thirties so am not any kind of authority on that and this is definitely way worse than my teens. b) It's less of an "inbetween" period, not so much not-a-girl-not-yet-a-woman kinda thing. Which is the worst. Ever. I don't know when/if you ever really feel like an adult, but I sure as hell don't now. Other grown ups tell their kids to "say thank you the lady" rather than "the girl". So I'm clearly some kind of grown up on the outside, but why do I feel more lost and confused than when I was 14? Side note: I'm also not convinced I look like an adult, I still get asked for ID to buy a scratch card in the garage.

BUT. I need to end on some sort of positive note. Your twenties are probably the hardest period of your life because everything is different. You're out of education for the first time and you're on your own. But the independence and learning is exciting. Sometimes exhilihrating. It's how you learn and grow (or something) You have the freedom to travel and buy stuff without permission, when you get the money. And, hopefully, it's all up from here.

Love ya.

Teri-May xx