The 4 Tiny Steps I'm Taking to Improve My Life This Year

You may or may not have read my post about my fears that I peaked in school and my teenage years were the best of my life. That was a depressing realisation for me and it went hand in hand with the niggling voices in the back of my head telling me that I am currently not at all the person that I want to me or, worse, the person that I know I am. I've lost a bit of myself in recent years. 

That's understandable considering my whole life changed when I moved from the only place I had ever really known to University in the city. My life kept changing during Uni and it was fantastic! Now I've graduated and am doing very little with my days, and I'm moving back to my hometown with Martin in the next few months. Most of my Uni friends are off doing their own thing and most of my "home friends" are also completely different; I feel a bit in limbo.

I'm going through a bit of a "self improvement" regime at the moment. A realistic one, though. You won't be finding me getting up at 6.30am to smash the gym followed by a candlelit meditation session. I just wanted to set some "goals" that I think will make me happier and try my best to do them.

1. Don't force myself to blog when I don't feel like it.

One thing about being unemployed/part-time-self-employed is feeling that, because you have so much free time you HAVE to use it productively. So I forced myself to blog all the fucking time and I became burnt out and resentful of it. If I want to spend 8 hours building a castle for my goblins to live in on Sims you bet your arse I will. I'm slowly getting back in the groove of blogging, but I'm trying to do it organically and less scheduled and scary without taking a toll on my stress levels.

2. Read more books.

Uni takes all the fun out of reading and I can count on one hand how many books I read during my degree. I used to read before bed but when you live with someone who hates reading (and the bedside light is on their side of the bed) it makes it a bit more difficult. I've read two books this year so far and I want to read one a month in 2017. It makes me a better writer, a more interesting person and is a more productive use of my time than aimlessly scrolling through Facebook getting angry at the arseholes sharing their BNP/Trump rubbish on my timeline.

3. Be more proactive with friends.

I talked at length about how I feel I've lost touch with old friends previously, and one way to rectify that is to make more effort in getting in touch with friends. I've dropped a few pre-Uni friends a message on Facebook to see if they want to meet up and it felt so good. I'm also making more effort to go out on nights out and days out with friends and without Martin. It's so easy to spend all your time with your boyfriend but, for me, I don't think it's healthy and it's become a bit of a safety net for me.

4. Go outside.

Sometimes I don't go outside for several days. During those days I also probably won't get dressed - I just change into different pyjamas or lounge clothes. It's so unhealthy but I feel so unmotivated and depressed some days I just can't bring myself to go outside. I'm sure some people think I'm lazy and I try to turn it into a joke but the reality is sometimes the thought of going out of the house fills with me anxiety and dread so I just don't. That's one thing I miss about a job - you have to go outside and be productive for several hours a day. Even if I just walk to the shop with Martin for milk I try to make sure I go outside in "people clothes" for a little bit most days.

This post makes me sound like a proper invalid, but hopefully some of you know what I mean. I'm kind of in a bit of a "waiting stage" where I'm awaiting the result of funding for my PhD, waiting to hear about Martin's job contract and waiting for things with our house, so it's easy to get depressed and dejected. These little steps are making my every day life a little bit more bearable, and reading the list when I'm feeling a bit useless is a great way to perk myself up a bit.

I'd love to hear any other tips that help YOU when your mental health is suffering!


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